on losing.

Today, my brother lost. I have not seen him lose a wrestling match in about a year. (Of course, I do attend college about 2000 miles away, but that's beside the point.) Anyways, he lost. And in order to occupy my mind so I didn't get too offended at his mood, I thought about losing. Losing is tough. It sucks. But losing is surprisingly informative. You learn what you love when you lose. (Now, if losing it is what made you learn that you love it, I'd suggest you learn that a little quicker next time.) Do you think he would have been so upset if he didn't truly love what he was doing and didn't want to succeed? No. Whether it be a wrestling match, a scholarship, or a person, you learn what you love when you lose. Sometimes you have to lose. But losing, as terrible as it may seem, can also teach you how to win. You'll figure it out someday if you haven't already.

we have a dog?

"That's how the Lord works. You lose your cat, you find your dog." My mother is convinced that our cat (see this post for pictures) is dead. That's right. DEAD. She hasn't been seen for the past week or so. Anyways, during said past week, a dog has started showing up on a road we take to get to church, school, etc. On Christmas, my mother said, "If that dog is there, that's our dog." And there it was. So for her, this was divine intervention and that dog was ours.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself and pets. I am not a fish person. I am not a gecko person. I am not a cat person. I am probably not a dog person, either. My father is allergic to dogs, so we never had one growing up. It was a stretch to even get the cat, which eventually was kindly asked (thrown out) to live in the garage anyways. But when my brother called us yesterday saying he had finally gotten the dog, we drove to meet him... And there was the dog, trailing my brother in the car. Evidently, he's natural at dog whispering and this is fate.

...Which is why it ran away before my mother could get back with the dog food. But alas, today it followed my brother home again and is currently sleeping in a blanket on our back porch. Maybe it is fate after all.

i love my job.

So, I don't get personal and go into sappy details much. But this time I have to. I want to tell you about my job. It is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

When my friend mentioned this job to me, she called it "glorified babysitting." Having been a nanny, I knew I could handle it. But this job was different... Special. I am a respite care worker for a child with autism, and he chose today to be baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Today is also his 18th birthday. When I sat down behind him, he kept turning around and grinning. "Hi, Hannah," he said. This is the second time I've ever heard him say my name. He doesn't talk much. It's tough to get him to drink a full glass of water sometimes. Last time I was over was the first time he's brushed his teeth without my help. He likes to watch baseball, which I know nothing about. He needs help going to bathroom and changing into his pajamas. It might seem tough to get through to him, especially when he doesn't make eye contact with you. But when he does, you can see that this boy is special. Throughout the entire service, I found myself wiping away the tears streaming down my face. Seriously. Cried my eyes out. This boy is special. And so is the gospel we share. We read the scriptures together and pray before I tuck him into bed. "I love you, T." I say. I know God loves him too. The way that God loves each of His children is almost tangible to me sometimes. This boy is special, and I am beyond grateful to have him and his family in my life.