flirt shamelessly.

"Flirt shamelessly," she said. My own mother. "Flirt shamelessly." Of course this was a follow-up to her previous comment: "For a girl who hasn't been on a date in a while, you should be flirting." To which I replied, "Mom, I can't just flirt with a man..." She didn't let me finish. "Flirt shamelessly," she said.

Let me tell you something about me. I can't just flirt with a man. There are reasons for this.

1. I am terrible at flirting. As I may have mentioned in a previous post, I am terrible at flirting. Did I mention that I'm terrible at flirting? I was notorious for this lack of skill with an old friend of mine, who would never cease to present me with YouTube videos with flirting tips any time I would come over to his house. I just can't do it unless I know the person with whom I am flirting, and if I am flirting shamelessly with said person, our relationship is more than likely 100% platonic. At least to me.

2. I have a special talent for encouraging male friendliness. Maybe it's the face that I am known as "The Porcupine," but any time I show so much as a tooth in the direction of the opposite sex, consequences often include a deluge of male friendliness. I am terrified of male friendliness. Okay, let's just chalk this one up to paranoia about male friendliness.

3. I would rather say no up front than go through the process and make things awkward and have to say no later. This is the opposite philosophy that some of my other female compatriots have. They may say, "YOLO," or some other modern-day colloquialism that takes me months to work up the courage to search on Urban Dictionary, terrified of the fact that it's something inappropriate. (I'm an innocent soul deep down, what can I say?) I am incredibly anti-confrontational. So maybe I just figure that if I feel like I should turn him down in the first place, we just weren't meant to be. (Side note: I would have to actually get asked out to turn someone down.)

DISCLAIMER: I have a tendency to do all of these things, including shameless flirting, embracing male friendliness, and YOLO when I am in love. But, as that is not the case right now, this is my current opinion on the whole "flirting shamelessly" thing. Or maybe I'm just bitter about being single. You decide. So. There you have it. Tonight I will settle down in my pj's and leave the shameless flirting to Rory and Jess.